Okay, if it's not an automobile vase, and it is medical or biological, how about staying within the realm of Frank's comment.
Fill the item with hot water. Insert the nipple end in the correct spot, and, um, hemorrhoids shrink from the heat, thus providing relief from the pain.
Or, for the ladies, insert the nipple in the proper place and the hot or warm water soothes and benefits during, well..., you know.
Frank probably gets the best weed, too.